And you could make a ton of money….

Posted on May 25, 2012 | 1 Comment

What do you say?”

He looked at me blankly, holding my shirt. He obviously didn’t get it. I tried again.

“See, you’re a dry cleaner, and I need my shirt dry cleaned. You clean my shirt, I’ll wear it and tell everybody what a great job you did. You get to practice doing your thing, and I get a clean shirt. Everybody wins.”

“But you don’t pay me?”

I couldn’t believe this guy! He wanted me to pay him? Didn’t he understand?

“Well, of course I don’t pay you. I mean, I’m helping you out here, doing YOU a favour. I ought to be asking for a cut of your future profits, because, honestly, people are going to flock to you, and it’ll be because of me and my shirt.”

It was ten minutes later that he and his brother threw me bodily from the shop. Some people have no vision.

********************************************************************

I was going to leave it there and hope everyone understood, but then I remembered that this is the world where Mitt Romney might end up President and folks think evolution is a trick of Satan etc etc. So here it is:

When you first start out as a writer, people want you to work for free. They tell you (if they talk to you at all) that it’s a chance for you to build your portfolio, to show your work, to get noticed. Or they’re like those wonderful people on Craigslist who say

“I have a great idear for a movie and i no its better than anything because ive seen all the movies and this is better. You write it for me and we’ll split the money fifty fifty.”

I made that one up, but it’s based on at least twenty genuine ones I’ve seen. And that’s the kind of offers you’ll get. “Just do the writing part and I’ll let you have some of the money.” Because, you know, the writing bit isn’t that hard, the important bit is the idea. And the money will just fall from the sky when you’re done…..

I appreciate that writing is not the only trade where people look for freebies. I would bet that every Doctor can tell you about parties where they’ve been subtly (and not so subtly) sounded out for free medical advice. But the difference there is that no one expects the Doctor to believe it’s helping HIM. Trainee doctors have to do crappy medical jobs and work ludicrous hours for which they are not paid ENOUGH, but they are paid. For some reason, probably because so many of us are untrained, writers are expected to “put in the time” for free before they can charge people.

Maybe I’m wrong. maybe the same is true of Graphic Designers. I do know at least one comic artist who is producing pages and pages of work for free in the hopes of honing his skills to the point where he can be paid for his work (www.davinderbrar.com , if you have some money to spend).

The point of this rant is not self-pity, but rather a message to writers. If your work is good, value it. That’s hard if you’re writing to earn because you have no other means of support, but in that situation you SHOULD be getting the right price for your work. Finding the market that will pay what your work is worth is hard, horribly, horribly hard, but giving it away for nothing is not the answer. It gets you a reputation for free work, not good work, and that can’t be a good thing.

The good news is that if you stick with writing, people will eventually stop trying to get you to work for free. I think the average length of time is seventy five years for men and eighty three for women, but it’s rising all the time……

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Paving the way with good intentions

Posted on April 30, 2012 | 2 Comments

This blog can get a little repetitive. Here comes another post about entering the employment market…..

Life used to be about careers. You’d learn a wide variety of stuff in school, go on to specialise in college, or get an apprenticeship. Then you’d take on the first job, and work your way up.

Things aren’t like that these days. The internet will tell you that an astonishing percentage of the kids at school today will go into jobs that DON’T EVEN EXIST NOW. You know, they’ll be Herfenshirper Empowerers. Or they’ll be Blorking the VIFFs that run all our e-mookers. (Yeah, you think it’s weird, but wait ten years. You won’t know how you ever got by without your e-mooker…)

Anyway, I’ve mentioned before that careers don’t seem to be my thing. The companies I join have a nasty habit of losing their franchises, shutting down, or even burning to the ground (though in my defence, that’s only happened once and I was a long way away. With witnesses and everything.) As some of you will know, my latest company has recently ceased to be, and now the wrapping up is done, I’m out in the real world again.

I did what I usually do when the hammer falls, I went out looking (somewhat reluctantly) for other positions. I’m not highly qualified, and I don’t have a great deal of useful experience, expecially over here in Canada, since I’ve only had the two jobs in three years. I was looking for work to match my responsibilities, so something from 9am to 2pm would be fine, because I have the school run to do, and the kids do activities outside school hours.

As usual, there weren’t hundreds of opportunities out there. But then Mrs Dim made a brave suggestion. She said if I did get another job, I’d likely be starting it in May or June, and that’s right on the edge of the school holidays. What use would I be starting a new job with no holiday time built up, just when the kids were going to be slobbing around the house needing some adult supervision? Why not, she said, take the hit on my salary, admit I wasn’t going back to work until September and work on my writing projects in between?

It was a brave suggestion because it’s Mrs Dim who makes all the numbers dance in our household accounts, and me not being at work would mean smaller numbers for her. On the other hand, I hadn’t actually improved the income from my writing in the last year, and this was an opportunity to produce some new material and raise that number a bit. Plus, if I was around in the summer, we wouldn’t be spending so much on camps to keep the kids supervised.

So it’s a different kind of adventure for a while. I have to be more businesslike and organised about my writing, and I have to keep my eyes open for new work opportunities that may occur. I have to remember my jobs around the house and not let them slide because I’ve got stuck at the keyboard, and I have to limit my social media interaction, because after a while it’s not networking, it’s procrastination.

I’m glad I found a wife who is brave enough to give me this time, and I hope I don’t let her down.

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The best convention…I never got to. Vancouver FanExpo 2012

Posted on April 21, 2012 | 2 Comments

Middle and Eldest Weasel meet a Clone Trooper and The Master Chief.

It’s the first Fan Expo here in Vancouver. Sure, we have V-Con, and probably there are other comic-based events happening now and then but there’s one crucial difference. We were going to this one. We’d missed San Diego Comicon the year we were in town, and the planned trip to Emerald City didn’t pan out. Flu prevented our attending the Bellingham Comic convention.

Hey, hey, the gang's all here...Well, except for Robin. And Joker. And the Penguin...

So we checked out the website. We downloaded the vouchers that would get the younger weasels in free. We didn’t buy the actual tickets though. How busy could it be?

Hey look! It's...er...ah...Well, her dress is pretty.

Maybe we should have raced to the Convention Centre as soon as we woke up, but it was a lovely day. We walked the dog, dawdled at a yard sale…we enjoyed ourselves. And meanwhile, it seemed, every other person in North America was arriving at the Convention Centre. When we reached the doors at noon, they were having to turn people away, since they were already sold out.

So...we took advantage of the sunshine and the wandering cosplayers to amuse ourselves.

It was a great spectacle, and we probably saved ourselves a fortune by not wandering the halls and seeing the wonderful merchandise, or the various stars arrayed to sign their photos…But we’ll be back for next year. And we’ll be in our OWN costumes.

I will not be going as Supergirl. Even though I have the abs for it....

What’s the greatest event YOU’VE ever missed?

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10 reasons why being a writer ROCKS!

Posted on April 10, 2012 | 7 Comments

Forget the Hemingway image of the writer, bearded, drunk and slumped over a typewriter filled with cigarette butts. Being a writer need not equate to misery, alcohol abuse and blinding headaches. Being a writer ROCKS, and here’s why:

  1. You can do it all the time. Don’t tell me that the happiest Chartered Accountant or Quantity Surveyor can do their job when they’re not at work. That accountant needs his spreadsheets and accounts, and that Quantity Surveyor needs…er…quantities of stuff to survey. But writers are writing ALL THE TIME. We walk around and our characters tell their stories in our heads. Walking the dog, we are striding the worlds we create. The part of the job that is done at the keyboard is only the culmination of the process. How cool is that?
  2. Your job, your rules. Yes, there are guidelines about plot, and character development, and first person viewpoints and on and on. But the truth is, those rules only apply until they don’t. You can use them to tell your story, but if they aren’t getting the job done, you can cast them aside and try something different. That doesn’t go so well, for example, in a Pharmacy…”Ah, Mrs Williams? Still getting those headaches? Try this, I just sort of bunged a load of stuff together in a pot….”
  3. Reading. You don’t HAVE to love reading to be a writer, but let’s face it, you probably do. To write, you have to love words, and reading is a ready source. But look, it’s not like you have to fill your mental fuel tank with a fresh supply of words in order to create your own sparkling prose…Really, you don’t. But reading stretches your imagination, reading good books gives you hints and tips subconsciously that you will use later. It’s not plagiarism, it’s style.
  4. It’s the best time to do it. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, being a writer is not the solitary depressing experience it once was. There are hundreds of online communities out there. Through social networks like G+ you can meet and talk with other writers of all levels. You may not get face time with JK Rowling or Tom Clancy, but with patience, manners and sensible commenting, you can get in touch with published authors (like John Scalzi, or Chuck Wendig).
  5. The gates are open. Now, this may be a good thing or a bad thing, but the fact is, right now you can be published only minutes after finishing your draft. The new ebook publishing programs mean that you don’t need an agent or a lucky meeting to guarantee your book is published, but beware: Just because you can publish instantly doesn’t mean you should. Check your draft, get it read, give it a break and read it again yourself. Get a good artist to design your cover. Unless you’re just in it for the cachet of dropping “I published my book the other day” into conversations…..
  6. You are part of an immense heritage. Storytelling may not be the Oldest Profession, but it goes back millennia. Watch how young children crave stories, how adults rush to buy the latest recommendations. Stories speak to all of us, fill a need that everyone feels from time to time. YOU can fill that need, and be one with Plato, Homer (not the cartoon, get a grip) Shakespeare, Faulkner, Dickens. And yes, Tom Clancy, ok.
  7.  (Via Jenn Thorson, after an appeal for help) “I love how transporting it can be when the writing is going well and everything around me disappears; the story and I are alone as the scene unfolds. It’s what Stephen King, I believe, has called “falling through the page.” It feels like the perfect balance of work and amusement, and time loses meaning. It’s a great feeling to be that at-one with creativity.”
  8. (Via Amy Knepper) “Writing rocks because I can play with my imaginary friends, and kill them if they make me angry.”
  9. (Via Laurie Laliberte) “Chicks dig writers”
  10. The big one. Because everyone, at some time in their life, wants to be a writer. Everyone dreams of holding a book in their hands and saying “This is mine, these words are mine. I wrote this.” People may dream of it for the success that comes to writers like JK Rowling, or the fame that clings to Salinger despite comparatively little output, or just to see something they made in a shop window. But everyone has dreamed of being a writer, and if you write, then you ARE a writer. And that rocks.

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My Guest Post on Novel Publicity .com!

Posted on April 4, 2012 | Leave a comment

This week I’ve had the honour of being guest blogger on the Novel Publicity Website. Novel Publicity can help authors with Design, Editing and, of course, publicity. Check out their website for a full description of the services they offer, or find them on Facebook and G+. Or, take a minute to read

MY FIVE TIPS ON WRITING FOR THE STAGE

The Theatre.* In many ways it seems as mysterious and closed a world as that of top-flight novelists. Yet writing a play isn’t something that needs to be left to serious types in cardigans who smoke pipes, or flouncy ruffled-shirt-wearing Theatrical Major students with angry diatribes about INSERT CURRENT TOPIC HERE.

YOU can write a play. Here’s a secret: it’s not hard. You may not be the next Chekhov, or the next Pinter, but so what? Some people go to the theatre to be entertained, and there’s nothing wrong with writing a play that’s entertaining rather than challenging or a searing indictment of this, that, or the other.

So what are the top five things you need to know about writing for the stage?

1. It’s drama. If your script is about two guys in a room arguing about their college theses, then you need to find a way to get some movement, some action into the situation. There’s nothing wrong with a single location, but you have to remember that you don’t have close ups or flashbacks or cutaways to rely on, like they do in TV programs. You need to give the audience something to WATCH as well as something to listen to.

2. Location, location, location. Think your story through and do an outline. Then look at it and imagine how it can be presented on stage. Changing locations is certainly possible, but if you present a potential director with a way of accomplishing the location change, they are more likely to buy and produce your play. For example, if you want a couple to start an argument in the kitchen and continue it in the bedroom, can you have a split set, with one half of the stage being the bedroom and the other half the kitchen? If you then have to move to the wife’s office, can the bedroom set be changed while the couple are back in the kitchen? Set changes can be tough, and most audiences won’t sit in blackout for longer than thirty seconds. Try using scenes in front of the curtain to cover a full set change behind the curtain.

3. Consider your actors. A play I wrote got sent back to the drawing board because I hadn’t realized I’d put the leading actor onstage for every single scene. Writing for Community Theatre, like I do, it’s best to give actors some time off the stage to catch their breath, glance over their lines, have a break. Equally, don’t expect them to breeze offstage in a wedding gown and return thirty seconds later in a business suit. They’re actors, not Clark Kent in a phone booth.

4. Have a read through. Plays are all about dialogue, and there’s no better way to check if your characters sound like real people than having real people read your words. Read-throughs can be great fun, as long as you check your ego at the door. Remember, you’re listening for errors, so don’t cringe when you find them–make a note! And listen to people’s opinions of the play too. They can tell you if the character they were reading has nothing to do in the second act, or if they felt that the plot has a hole. You don’t have to accommodate everyone’s idea in the next draft (unless you’re writing a commissioned piece, which is a whole other can o’ worms…) so you have nothing to lose by listening and thinking about what you hear.

5. Join a local theatre group. Yes, you may prefer writing to treading the boards, but I’m going to wave the old adage ‘Write what you know.” It’s a tricky phrase, as I’m sure you already know, but in this case it can be very helpful. Writing a play can be enormously liberating. You can accomplish all kinds of things on the stage, but the only way to find out what is possible is to be involved in plays. Going out to the theatre is a good start, but it can be expensive. If you join a local theatre group there are several advantages: They’ll be pathetically pleased to see you. You can ask questions about plays they have already performed and what made them good choices. You get a stock of people who can read through your work. You get a stock of people who can PERFORM your work. Your new group may even be willing to take one of your scripts to a one-act play competition, which could provide you with an AWARD to brag about. It happened to me.

So, those are my tips. The big secret is that writing plays is easier than writing a novel. When your protagonist is going to the drinks cabinet for a scotch, you don’t have to write:

“Tired from the constant battles with Cynthia over the custody of their pet otter, Alex slunk to the drinks cabinet and poured three fingers of dark, aromatic scotch into the crystal glass his Grandmother had left him.”

In your play, you just write “ALEX goes to the drinks cabinet and gets a scotch.”
See how easy that was?

Yes, there are formats you should use, but like any writing, that’s down to research. Make sure your character names are consistent, put a brief set description at the opening of each scene and note any exits or entrances your characters make. Once you’ve finished writing, add a cast list to the head of the piece so a prospective director knows how many people of which gender they’ll need to produce the play. You’ll be well on your way.

About this post’s author:

Damian Trasler has been a published and award-winning playwright for ten years, working mostly with TLC Creative (www.tlc-creative.co.uk ) and published through Lazy Bee Scripts (www.lazybeescripts.co.uk). He runs a Script Appraisal Service in conjunction with Lazy Bee and more theatrical musings can be found on his blog, www.dtrasler.com. He also raises three daughters while his wife has a proper job.

*I’m an Englishman living in Canada, so the “r” and the “e” are going that way round. Deal with it.

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Why not be sociable?

Posted on March 29, 2012 | 2 Comments

Screen grab from my G+ circles page. If you don't know what that means, read on.....

The urge to moan about my lack of output or success in the job market is growing, so I thought I’d side-step it and talk about Social Media instead.

I’m not a guru. I can’t tell you how to “do” Social Media, and I can’t promise you that I’ll get Social Media to increase your sales, your popularity or your productivity.

What I can say is that I enjoy interacting with other people through Social Media, and the Social Media I prefer is G+. I’m sorry, Facebook friends, but most of the time when you’re talking to me or getting comments from me on Facebook, it’s Mrs Dim. Facebook has been brilliant for staying in touch with friends from the UK, and it’s a great standby if someone hasn’t handed out their email address. When Mrs Dim was away recently, we even used it to message each other, which looked very bizarre to other people, since we both used the same login….

Anyway, I was invited to join G+ during the Beta phase and found it was fun. At first it was quiet, with few users, but I added some interesting folks to my circles and things started to move. In G+ you have circles for different groups of people, and you can post things to a single circle, or all your circles, or just to the public….and you can do the same with the things you see. What appears is called your stream, and you can set it to receive a lot of things from particular circles, and not much from others, or just leave them all open all the time, like I do.

I’ve been quite cautious about who I’ve added to my circles, meaning I’m only in contact with around 400 people. That’s still a lot of content rushing past every day. In turn, only around 200 people have ME in THEIR circles, so I’m not filling the whole internet with my ramblings. What that small grouping means is that I can actually converse with these people, swap ideas and stories, read what they’ve got to say and maybe pass it along.

I’ve learned a great deal from G+, from reading articles reposted by friends, following links to other websites, and I’ve made some good friends. Yes, friends.

Some people have the opinion that friends are only friends if you’ve met them face to face. But these are people I chat to every day. I may not know a great deal about them – in some cases, I don’t even know their real names – but I know I like chatting to them. They don’t ask me creepy questions about my kids, they don’t try to find out my address, my phone number or bank details, and we share a lot of interests. When I need an opinion on something, like my new e-book, I can ask these people. They don’t have the need, like real-life friends do, to say nice things to me because someday we’ll be having dinner together. In turn, I’ve been asked to offer advice on THEIR stories, or pictures, or projects.

This is the key with social media, or so I’ve heard. Not building a huge following and broadcasting your ‘stuff’ to them on a regular basis. No, the idea is to build relationships by talking to people, getting to know them a little, and giving them some of your time and attention. It’s only fair, after all.

I know that some of the 200 people who have me in their circles, have LOTS more people following them than I do. Thousands and thousands, in some cases. If I post news of my new project and one of them is kind enough to repost it, it can be seen by thousands of readers instead of hundreds. If some of them repost it, it could reach hundreds of thousands. That’s the connecting power of social media, but it means nothing if YOU don’t connect with the people first.

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Star Wars/ Dr Seuss Crossover

Posted on March 21, 2012 | 2 Comments

Image

I’m not the first with this idea. Check out http://themightyadam.blogspot.ca/2010/11/dr-seuss-does-star-wars.html

Thanks to an accidental remark on some social media, I have been stuck working on a non-profit project for the last week. I had to get it finished before anything else could get enough room in my head to grow, so now it’s complete I have nothing to do with it. It’s a rhyming Star Wars, the storyline from Episode Four “A New Hope”, what people of my age still think of as “Star Wars”. It started out in a Seuss fashion, but my head began to hurt and it devolved into doggerel quite quickly.

 

Please don’t be offended by it, please don’t write to me with ideas about “correcting” lines. The scansion is tough and some words have their natural stresses mangled to fit the meter, but believe me, I spent WAY TOO LONG on every line of this piece. It’s rubbish, but on the plus side, it’s finished.

Star Wars Seuss

 

 

A little ship in outer space

It looks as though it’s in a race.

It’s rushing on, out in the lead,

But here comes a very big ship indeed!

The lasers fire, both green and red.

Oh no! The main reactor’s dead!

 

The Rebel ship was not a trader
so it got stopped by Dark Lord Vader.

The Troopers came
the door they blew
the troopers came in two by two.
The troopers came in two by two.

They shot the rebels – PEW PEW PEW!
The troopers came
They blew the door
The troopers came in four by four.

The troopers came in four by four,

The rebels fell dead on the floor.

The Princess had no time to mope:
Help! Obi Wan’s our only hope!

 

The captain said “The Princess who?

I really haven’t got a clue.”

Vader said ‘Look, I’m not joking!

Tell me, or I’ll start Force Choking!”

 

Meanwhile two droids, one big, one small

Release their pod and start to fall.

To Tattooine, all dusty red

No forests, just deserts instead.

They land in sand

In sand they land

With only sand and rock on hand.

Where should they go?

How could they know?

They decide to split up then…oh no!

 

Artoo’s captured Bzzt! Bang! Zap!

Time to take a robot nap…

He wakes to see his golden friend

Yes, he got caught too, in the end.

 

The Jawas take droids one and two

To the farm of Owen and Beru.

It’s where Luke lives, though he’s no farmer.

His dreams don’t make poor Owen calmer.

 

‘Take these droids and get ‘em clean.

We will not ask just where they’ve been.”

 

But Luke can tell they’ve seen a fight.

Rebellion news makes his eyes light.

Then R2 plays a short, blue clip

And Luke becomes a lovestruck drip.

 

“Who is that girl? You tell me now!

The bolt is stopping you? Really? How?

I’ll take it off…Hey! Where’d she go?

I think I’ve just been had, you know.”

 

Artoo escapes that night – he flees.

Just where he goes to, no one sees.

Luke and Droid One go in pursuit.

Perhaps they listen for “Beep! Toot! Toot!”

 

Tuskens attack! Luke is out cold.

Oh no! But just in time is old

Ben Kenobi, he’ll save our boy.

And he found Artoo too! Oh joy!

 

They go to Ben’s house and he bores

Their pants off with tales of Clone Wars.

 

“My Dad was not a knight” Luke said.

“He was, til Vader made him DEAD.

Look, here’s his sword, it’s made of laser.

Not clumsy or random, like a phaser.”

 

“Learning the force will come in handy
to leave this place so hot and sandy.

I ask you, come with Obi Wan

We’ll take a ship to Alderaan.

 

They find the slaughtered Jawas first,

And that makes Luke’s nice bubble burst.

“These Jawas sold those droids to us!

Oh this could cause an awful fuss!

If they are after these droids too,

I must warn Owen and aunt Beru!”

 

Luke rushes back to his homestead,

But Owen and Beru are…dead.

Their bones lie in a smoking pile.

The sight fills Luke’s poor throat with bile.

He collects Ben and Droids Two and One

And says “It’s time that we were gone.

We try Mos Eisley for a ride

To take us all off planetside.”

 

“Mos Eisley,” says Ben, “A wretched Hive..

The worst scum and villainy left alive.

We must be careful, that’s for sure!”

And Luke, behind him, mutters “Duh!”

 

The Cantina they enter now

Has been the scene of many a row.

Did Han shoot first? It has been said.

But either way, poor Greedo’s dead.

 

An altercation soon transpires,

A villain pulls his blaster, fires…

Yet before he can the trigger pump

His arm is off! There’s just a stump.

 

Ben switches off his laser sword.

The barman meekly mutters “Gawd!

Another mess I must clean up.

Gents, would you like another cup?”

 

But Ben takes Luke to meet new friends

He doesn’t offer to make amends

Or clean the mess his mayhem brought.

The jedi spare these things no thought.

 

Luke and Ben meet Chewie and Han,

And ask him to take them to Alderaan.

The price he quotes is awfully high

And Luke’s inclined to say goodbye.

But Ben says “Just take two grand up front.

We’ll add fifteen, see if we don’t.

We’ll pay it when we reach our goal.

I swear it on my mother’s soul.”

 

Meanwhile, on the Death Star, tempers fuse.

Leia resists all their abuse.

She won’t reveal the rebel base.

Who’d have thought her a hard case?

 

Grand Moff Tarkin (he’s the boss)

Believes that Vader’s at a loss.

Will Leia say where the rebels have gone

If he threatens her home planet, Alderaan?

 

Leia’s torn, there on the screen,

Her planet…”They’re on Dantooine”

She’d hoped to draw Imperial ire

Away but Tarkin orders “Fire!”

 

“We’ll get the rebels later, dear,

But blow your planet up, since we’re here.”

 

A laser stabs out, vivid green

And dust remains, where Alderaan’s been.

 

Han’s Falcon races off through space.

Luke learns the Force at a terrific pace.

Han mocks the youth, his words are snide.

He prefers a blaster by his side.

With the mystic Force he has no truck.

He thinks a man makes his own luck.

 

The force-use lessons are suspended

Just before their journey’s ended.

Ben feels a disturbance in the force.

It’s the death of Alderaan, of course.

 

They get to Alderaan and see

There’s nothing where it’s supposed to be.

A fighter zips by and they give chase

It’s cat and mouse, a deadly race.

 

Han says “Don’t fuss, we’ll catch it soon

It’s clearly heading for that small moon.

Ben says with mounting trepidation

“That’s no moon, it’s a space station!”

 

The Death Star draws the ship inside

But our heroes have had time to hide.

Vader’s troops find no one there,

But Vader gives the ship a stare.

“I sense a presence…Could it be..?

Has he come back at last to face me?”

 

Vader turns and off he strides

While troopers check the ship’s insides.

When one comes out there’s something strange.

Something’s caused his height to change.

 

Old Ben sets off with a job in mind

The Tractor Beam he aims to find.

If he can shut it down then they

Can board the ship and fly away.

 

Artoo tells the others where

The Princess is, but Han doesn’t care.

Luke tells him if they set her free

They’ll be rewarded – pots of money!

 

They hit the prison level fast.

The troops and cameras – pow! – they blast.

They find the princess, Han thinks she’s cute.

They all jump down a garbage chute.

 

Ben does his job – the beam is down

Yet something nearby makes him frown.

He turns, his sword out, nothing said.

There’s Vader with his sword of red

 

Sword of blue and sword of red.

A fight begins, one will end dead.

They trade some words,

They trade some blows.

Though both are old,

their skill still shows.

 

Han and friends are rushing now

To get aboard their ship somehow.

Luke sees Ben, his friend, in danger

Fighting a black-amoured stranger.

 

Ben sees Luke and smiles – how strange!

His entire aspect seems to change.

He raises his lightsabre high

He looks as though he’s going to die!

 

Vader swings, cuts Old Ben down

Behind the mask he gives a frown.

The robe is heaped, the saber’s there

But Ben Kenobi’s body…where?

 

Luke yells “BEN!” then has to run.

He blasts the door lock with his gun.

They rush onboard and head for space

Has Old Ben’s death bought them some grace?

 

Four TIEs pursue but get shot down,

Han’s happy, Leia has a frown.

“That was too easy” she opines

“What? You’re crazy!” Solo whines.

 

But Leia’s right, the ship is traced

Vader watched them as they raced

Off from the Death Star and he vowed

He’d track them down (But not aloud).

 

The Falcon heads to Yavin Four

The rebel base is there, secure,

But not for long, Darth will attack,

It’s time the rebels fought right back.

 

They analyse the plans in R2

And then they know what they can do.

“A small ship flies in close” (Wedge laughed)

“And fires a torpedo down a shaft.”

 

Luke says “Let me! I’ll take the shot”

Han says ‘This life is all I’ve got.

Now, where’s my money? In this crate?

I’m packed, I’m outy, see ya! Great!”

 

Luke waves Han off and looks glum.

Leia says “Oh, he’s a bum!

Forget him, let’s go kick some butt.

Leave Han to pay off Jabba the Hutt.”

 

The Death Star looms

The X Wings fly

Who will live?

And who will die?

 

The Rebel base is on the moon,

The Death Star will be in range soon.

They have to blow it up real fast

Or suffer the super laser blast.

 

The battle rages cross the skies

Some in x-wings

Some in TIES

 

Vader goes to join the fight.

Two wingmen make a formal flight.

He shoots down ships with cruel precision

The Force aids each attack decision.

 

 

Now only three are left alive

Biggs and Wedge and Luke (Red 5)

They dive in to the trench but then

Here come those pesky TIES again!

 

Darth Vader shoots and Biggs goes BOOM!

This trench might well become their tomb!

Now Wedge is hit! He flees! He’s gone!

And Luke is left to fly alone.

 

He can’t fire yet, it’s not quite right…

But he’s in Vader’s target sight!

And then…SHAZAM! From out the sun

It’s Han and Chewie on a rescue run!

They blow up Vader’s wingmen: BANG!

And Vader’s warning sirens clang!

His craft is hit, he spins away.

He’ll live to fight another day.

 

But Luke is free to take his shot.

He pumps the triggers with all he’s got.

 

“His shot is good” the audience shout!

Han says “Damn, let’s get the hell out!”

 

A moment before their laser is fired,

The Death Star explodes…And Moff Tarkin’s…expired!

 

The rebels cheer their heroes three

Han and Luke and of course, Chewie.

 

Wedge gets nothing back on the ground.

Maybe next time he’ll stick around?

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