Welcome to what I’m sure will be a thrilling day’s play, here at the Moving Day Challenge Cup. We have the home team of Dim and Mrs Dim facing off against a group of three young men from a removal company, described by an impartial observer as “Enthusiastic but unskilled”. Will that show in their game plan today, I wonder?
Well, as you can see, the home team have made a good opening, with plenty of boxes pre-packed and neatly labelled, and they’ve kept separate a collection of cleaning equipment and coffee-makings. But the Movers also make a strong start, bringing out boxes faster than anyone would have expected…It looks like they’re going to get everything on the van before the home team have finished packing. No, wait, in a brilliant move, the home team have produced coffee and mentioned cigarettes. In a flash the game has turned around, as the Movers fall back to the van to sip their coffee and take a smoke break. That allows the home team to get more boxes packed and more furniture disassembled.
There are some other players on the pitch here, and I can’t decide which team they’re on – they seem to be a collection of Tiny Weasels, and they’re scoring goals for both sides, disrupting the packing on one hand, and packing their own boxes on the other. It’s too close to call.
And that’s half time! The Movers are taking the first load of possessions to the new house and the home team are splitting up to play on two fronts now. Mrs Dim and the Weasels are attacking the cleaning of the old house, while Dim attempts to organise the boxes and furniture as they come off the truck at the other end. Oh, and a foul has been perpetrated by the previous owners, leaving far more than they said “for temporary storage” in the basement of the new house, leading to awkward confusion as the new possessions begin to be dumped alongside the old. Now as well as directing the furniture to the correct rooms, Dim has to retrieve boxes from the basement and reposition them. This is definitely a case where the Movers are scoring an own goal, treating the labelling of the boxes as if it were some form of bizarre decoration, rather than indicating where the box should go.
The whistle blows, and it’s Mrs Dim bringing over the Weasels and dog to play in the new house while she finishes the organisation, and Dim is back over to the old house to press on with the cleaning and oversee the loading of the last few pieces of furniture. He should also be bringing on the last player, the house inspector from the landlords….but wait! In a last-minute shocker, the house inspector is too busy to come out today! A reprieve for the home team, as now they have an extra morning to get the old house completely cleaned. Dim is able to leave the old house as soon as the Movers have the last item on the truck and the action moves entirely to the new house for a thrilling finale.
Team Trasler moves into overdrive, identifying boxes and furniture on the fly while trying to round up enough ready cash for the tip. With only one breakage noticed so far, it’s been a pretty clean game on the Mover’s side, and the weasels have avoided any threats of death, dismemberment or being locked in cupboards, which puts them well ahead of their usual match results. Just before we have to move into extra time, the Movers announce they’re done and are leaving. As the crowd goes wild, Team Trasler splits one more time so Mrs Dim can run errands on the North Shore and a triumphant Dim buys the Weasels greasy fast food to celebrate the end of MOVING DAY