I bet you’re thinking this is YET ANOTHER post about resolutions – well, no it isn’t. Last Friday I ambled into work and was told to expect a parade of folks coming in that afternoon for the annual Spring Hiring Fair. I was to welcome them graciously to the store and ask them to take a seat in the Seasonal Department. I agreed and then started to frown. There was something familiar about the Annual Spring Hiring Fair, now what was it? Oh yes, that was where I came to get MY job….last year.
I very nearly had to go and take a seat in the Seasonal Department myself. A year. A whole year. I’ve been standing by the door and saying “Hello.” to complete strangers for a year.* This was not the plan.
Well, I say that, but what exactly WAS the plan? I know that the playwriting job was not sufficient for the mortgage people, so me having a ‘proper’ job with payslips and all made a big difference there, even if the wages didn’t. I know that it was important for me to feel that I was DOING something to help out with the financial situation, and there didn’t seem to be any reliable ways to increase my writing income. Mrs Dim had the notion that it would be good for me to get out and meet people, and yes, I can now say I have some friends at work, people who I’m glad to see and interested to talk to. So that’s all good then.
That hasn’t stopped me from thrashing my brain trying to figure out the brilliant play, movie or TV idea that will launch me out of regular work and back into full-time writing. I’ve been more consistent with my blogging, as Kristen Lamb recommends, improving my web platform to support my status. It’s a growing business still, but it grows slowly, as we add titles to the TLC canon, as Steve adds new corporate jobs to our repertoire, as we look at other revenue streams. Growth is good, and if I can’t increase the rate of growth, then I’m going to have to accept that I’ll still be wearing my apron and smiling for strangers for some time to come yet. But part of me worries that I’ll be stood there when the Christmas carols are playing again, that I’ll be shivering as the February winds gust through the door with the customers, that I’m envious of the March sunshine outside as I count the minutes until the shift ends. That doesn’t sound like job satisfaction to me.
So do me a favour: If you read this, leave a comment to encourage me. Like “STOP WHINING TRASLER!”
*Ok, after a year, not all of them are complete strangers. And sometimes I say “Good morning!” or “Good afternoon!” and occasionally “Huh? Oh, uh…Fnh..urgh…” when they catch me by surprise. It’s not a precise science.