Tag Archives: fast food

The Moving Day Challenge Cup

Welcome to what I’m sure will be a thrilling day’s play, here at the Moving Day Challenge Cup. We have the home team of Dim and Mrs Dim facing off against a group of three young men from a removal company, described by an impartial observer as “Enthusiastic but unskilled”. Will that show in their game plan today, I wonder?

Well, as you can see, the home team have made a good opening, with plenty of boxes pre-packed and neatly labelled, and they’ve kept separate a collection of cleaning equipment and coffee-makings. But the Movers also make a strong start, bringing out boxes faster than anyone would have expected…It looks like they’re going to get everything on the van before the home team have finished packing. No, wait, in a brilliant move, the home team have produced coffee and mentioned cigarettes. In a flash the game has turned around, as the Movers fall back to the van to sip their coffee and take a smoke break. That allows the home team to get more boxes packed and more furniture disassembled.

The Movers are going so fast, you can't see them....

Load up, move out!

There are some other players on the pitch here, and I can’t decide which team they’re on – they seem to be a collection of Tiny Weasels, and they’re scoring goals for both sides, disrupting the packing on one hand, and packing their own boxes on the other. It’s too close to call.

And that’s half time! The Movers are taking the first load of possessions to the new house and the home team are splitting up to play on two fronts now. Mrs Dim and the Weasels are attacking the cleaning of the old house, while Dim attempts to organise the boxes and furniture as they come off the truck at the other end. Oh, and a foul has been perpetrated by the previous owners, leaving far more than they said “for temporary storage” in the basement of the new house, leading to awkward confusion as the new possessions begin to be dumped alongside the old. Now as well as directing the furniture to the correct rooms, Dim has to retrieve boxes from the basement and reposition them. This is definitely a case where the Movers are scoring an own goal, treating the labelling of the boxes as if it were some form of bizarre decoration, rather than indicating where the box should go.

The whistle blows, and it’s Mrs Dim bringing over the Weasels and dog to play in the new house while she finishes the organisation, and Dim is back over to the old house to press on with the cleaning and oversee the loading of the last few pieces of furniture. He should also be bringing on the last player, the house inspector from the landlords….but wait! In a last-minute shocker, the house inspector is too busy to come out today! A reprieve for the home team, as now they have an extra morning to get the old house completely cleaned. Dim is able to leave the old house as soon as the Movers have the last item on the truck and the action moves entirely to the new house for a thrilling finale.

Team Trasler moves into overdrive, identifying boxes and furniture on the fly while trying to round up enough ready cash for the tip. With only one breakage noticed so far, it’s been a pretty clean game on the Mover’s side, and the weasels have avoided any threats of death, dismemberment or being locked in cupboards, which puts them well ahead of their usual match results. Just before we have to move into extra time, the Movers announce they’re done and are leaving. As the crowd goes wild, Team Trasler splits one more time so Mrs Dim can run errands on the North Shore and a triumphant Dim buys the Weasels greasy fast food to celebrate the end of MOVING DAY

The Last Night in the UK (originally posted Mar 8/09)

Taking a break from packing

"I'll just grab forty winks, then get on with the packing...."

So here it is – the last night in the UK for some time….I did say I was going to try and avoid the lasts, and a whole bunch just zipped by without me noticing them. I bought my last Radio Times, filled up the car for the last time, I guess I ate my last UK fast food some time ago.

Today was just as frantic and fun-filled as the rest of the week has been. Mrs Dim’s Mum had arranged for us to spend the morning walking round Windsor Great park with Mrs Dim’s cousin and her aunt and uncle. They’re nice people, and the park is unbelievably splendid, but you know what? It wasn’t my first choice of activity. I don’t know exactly what I would have done instead – somewhere near the top of the list was a good long book and a toilet with a solid lock on the door – I may be a little nervous about emigrating after all.

I tried repacking the cases. There are nine of them now, which seems excessive to me when there are only five of us travelling, but I got frustrated with the endless roatation of the stuff – I wasn’t getting rid of any, just redistributing it, and there was still tons of our detritus ranged around the house. There’s nothing for it but to begin tomorrow with a roof-to-cellar search of the house, packing everything we’re not wearing and then praying the hire car has damn good suspension.

Mrs Dim’s brother invited us both out for a drink in the evening. Again, this was not my first choice, but he’s a nice guy and it had to be better than sitting in and trying to read a book, waiting for it to get late enough to go to bed and not sleep. As it turned out, the local pub was considerately displaying several reasons to emigrate to another country. As we walked in, one drunken patron was trying to remove his shirt, then there was raucous cheering as another man emerged from the toilets with a woman’s blouse on, lipstick roughly slapped across his face and extra hair drawn on his bald head.

Before long they all staggered off to another place and we had a lovely evening. The talk flowed as fast as the drinks, and during the course of our time in the pub several text messages of good luck came in.

I’m worried the cases are too heavy, I’m worried our visas will be wrong and we’ll be turned back. I’m worried my back will give out on the flight, I’m worried we’ll have some probem finding a house. I’m worried Mrs Dim will take a job she doesn’t want or love because it’s offered to her and she doesn’t believe in herself enough to turn it down. I’m worried about all these things and more, but I don’t consider, not for a single moment, the idea of not going.

Next entry from our apartment in Vancouver. Assuming I don’t break the laptop, get turned back at customs etc etc etc