Tag Archives: scripts

Writer’s Block

Posted on September 16, 2022 | 4 comments

I was going to title this post “Writer’s block – myth or not?” but I didn’t. Here’s why:

A lot of writers who blog, or Tweet, or whatever address the issue of writer’s block at some point. Some say it doesn’t exist, that to write – to really write – just takes the application of bum to seat and fingers to keyboard. It’s a job, they say, and writing every day like it’s a real job will carry you through the days when you just don’t, you know feel it.

Other people say “No, that’s not what I’m talking about. I want to write, I really need to, and I am sat here ready to go, and the WORDS WON’T COME!” It’s a genuine blockage, something preventing the flow of words that is normally, if not effortless, then at least easy.

So that brings me round to something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: People are different. We KNOW people are different, but we still determinedly lump together people who share one aspect of their lives, or their personalities, or their medical diagnoses, and we treat them all the same.

Writing. I’ve been a published writer for over twenty years. I’ve earned actual money from the stuff I write. Now, I don’t make my entire living from writing, so maybe you can discount me that way, but I don’t think so. I’ve written fiction and non-fiction and sold both. I’ve done magazine articles and short stories. I’ve done novels. I’ve certainly done plays. But what I’ve written over the last three years could be fitted on a pack of cigarettes without removing the government-mandated warning pictures. And yeah, some of that is because of regular life – remodeling the house, buying an apartment, Mrs Dim’s medical condition, the trip to England… There are always going to be interruptions. But I’m saying for the record here that there has been plenty of time for me to write, and I haven’t done it.

Is that Writer’s Block? Maybe for me. It’s not the first time I haven’t had ideas fighting to get onto paper, though it is the longest. I’ve had ideas during that time, obviously, and some of them got noted down in various places, but nothing developed beyond that scribbled note:

“And then my husband got fat”

“Small, Good Wolves need not apply”

“Famous Last Words”

“The Gardener of Crystal Palace”

Last week I was shuffling through a bunch of old files. One of them was an outline of a play I started to write. It was called the “Not Bertie Wooster” Play, because I had listened to the complete Jeeves and Wooster series on audio, and the style of Bertie’s speech was burned into my brain. I had a lot of fun, writing the outline using Bertie’s eclectic terms of affection and disbelief, and was building up quite a Wodehousian plot. Naturally, I ran out of steam about a third of the way through, but that was five pages. Five pages of outline. Since I didn’t have any other writing work on, I thought it would be easier to try writing out the script from this outline, rather than trying to write something new (or, actually, finish the outline first!)

That was a week ago, and I am pages into the script and haven’t caught up to the end of the outline yet. Writing this is fun , it’s not difficult, and I’m not worried about running out of outline because it feels like this is one of those plays where the characters will take up the story and run with it if I let them.

I haven’t “broken” a writer’s block. I haven’t found a method that will work for other people, or even for me the next time around. Everyone is different. But for now, I have rediscovered my own joy in writing, and it may well carry me through to the end of this script.

If YOU are suffering from Writer’s Block, or some similar condition that is preventing you doing your own creative thing, then firstly, I believe you. No one can tell you that block does not exist. It’s YOURS.

Secondly, because everyone is different, there are a million different pieces of advice out there that claim to break your block. None of them is going to be right every time for every person. But because there are so many, and hey, aren’t you desperate? Then you can try as many as you like until you find one that works for now.

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Writing plays and writing Great Art

Posted on December 14, 2021 | Leave a comment
“For Sale: Baby Shoes, never worn” as performed by Kilmuckridge Drama Group

I’ve been writing play scripts for more than twenty years now, and I still can’t shake one stupid idea: Plays ought to be Great Art. Plays are SUPPOSED to be something cerebral, majestic, inspiring (and, if at all possible, inaccessible by ordinary, dull people.)

We all know what I mean. We read Shakespeare at school, and if you’re old enough, they didn’t bother trying to make it relevant, or understandable. They harped on the structure of the lines, the bloody iambic pentameter, the alliteration, the symbolism, the classical references (and I still can’t remember who Phoebus was, or why he had a car in Shakespeare’s day, let alone Tarquin and his ravishing strides.) The implication always was “Of course you don’t understand this, you mewling, puking toads, this is ART! It was penned by a genius, who wrote all of this in a few weeks, even though it will take us a term to tear down one or two scenes.”

And then we get to more recent playwrights, like Pinter or Beckett. Again, the majority of the time we are pressed to believe that this is not meant to be fun, not meant to be accessible. If it’s on the stage, it should be ART and that’s all there is to it.

Except.

Except when I was young, I went to pantomimes. Huge, bright, explosions of slapstick. Verbal somersaults, jokes fired off at machine gun pace, raucous musical numbers and the audience positively begged to throw their hearts and souls into taking part. This was clearly not ART because I was crying with laughter and thrilled to my very centre.

SMP Dramatics performs “Watch this space”.

When I sat down to write a play script of my own, I couldn’t shake the need for it to be ART. Though I based it on my own experiences, I threw in great and dramatic speeches about the nature of life, of creation, of the uncertainties of self-determination. I blurred the lines between imagination and reality and got thoroughly invested in my own bullshit. I still like that play, by the way, but part of me will always run and hide when I read or see it.

“Work in Progress” by the RAF St Athan Theatre Club

It took a long time for me to accept that what I really enjoyed was writing silly comedy stuff. I mean, I knew I enjoyed it, but I didn’t think I was really allowed to put it out there as publishable. It’s not Great Art. I still wanted to write a play that would make the critics search their souls for the perfect review, wanted one that would stun audiences into silence, awed, reverent silence. But why? Is it better to have a stunned audience, or one that’s helpless with laughter, and will think of the show in days to come because their ribs are still aching? I’ve made it to forty nine, and I don’t think I have discovered any shocking fundamental truths about the universe that need writing down, other than “If everybody was nicer, the world wouldn’t be such a bad place”, although the cynic in me wants to write “If everyone was nicer, some bastard would take advantage of them.”

It seems a bit rich to be pontificating on what’s the right thing to write when I haven’t completed a writing project in two years, but then again Shakespeare hasn’t produced anything new in the last four hundred, and he’s bound to have a bunch of stuff performed next year. I think my point, if I had one, was that I’ll probably write more comedy when the muse strikes, and give up forever on the idea of the Great Work. Because, really, what’s so Great about it if it doesn’t make someone smile?

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Eighteen years of TLC Creative

Posted on January 30, 2018 | Leave a comment

Image result for TLC Creative

Linked In isn’t tremendously useful. Well, it hasn’t been so far. But this week it sent me a reminder that it’s been eighteen years since the formation of TLC Creative. Our writing partnership is old enough to drink in a pub and vote.

Nearly twenty years ago, writing was a very different experience:

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As a new Dad, I was still struggling with the challenges of domestic management, and I was trying to build a writing career in the cracks in between. It was a great relief when Steve and David contacted me with an offer to co-write a pantomime. Steve is an impeccable organiser, and David’s writing is inspirational (and he’s a champion fixer if you’re stuck for a punchline or a better joke). After months of trying to sell short stories and finish a novel (every first novel is bad. Every one.) writing the pantomime was fun, and collaboration was a joy.

Babes in the Wood promo

Over the years we have worked in many different ways – writing pieces individually, writing a scene each and collating, writing by dictation and having Steve try to type the nonsense we were spouting on the fly. As time has gone by, we’ve all accumulated more responsibilities, and me moving to a different continent has not improved the regularity of our meetings. But we stay in touch through email and Skype, and even manage the odd planning meeting online. Our joint productivity has slowed a but, but we’re still ready to take on new challenges, reheat old jokes and routines and try to breath life into neglected stories. But mostly the old jokes.

TLC Feb 08

I’m confident that TLC Creative will still be scraping the barrel for the next eighteen years, adding to our publisher’s grey hairs with our eccentric formatting and occasional non-standard stage directions (Stage directions are for the ACTORS. You cannot dictate what the audience are going to do. Even if you use ALL CAPS). Yes, it’s past time to thank Stuart Ardern, our long-suffering publisher at www.lazybeescripts.co.uk for his help and encouragement (and the odd gentle admonition) over the past decade and a bit.

TLC Creative are still looking boldly to the future (though not able to focus brilliantly on deadlines) and we’d like to thank our friends and family for their help, support and understanding, and the many, many theatrical groups who have performed our plays*

You can find a full list of our current works HERE , all available to read online, and economical to download and produce.

 

 

*And the kind volunteers who helped them recover afterwards.

 

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New Releases from lazy Bee Scripts Jan 2018

Posted on January 11, 2018 | Leave a comment

As I often do, I’ve clipped the “New Releases” section of the Lazy bee Scripts newsletter and re-posted it here so you can see the new plays on offer from my publisher. Since these days I run my social media from my lunchbreak, I haven’t got time to add links to all the plays (though I have taken a moment to link to mine : Sorry everyone else!) And here’s a little reminder that you can visit www.lazybeescripts.co.uk anytime and check out their “What’s New?” page.

One-Act Plays

As I’ve said before (following George Douglas Lee), all plays are in three acts, even one-act plays.  This category is based on length (something from 20 to 75 minutes), but the structures are three acts (situation, development, resolution).  In some cases, the author has made that structure more obvious, so Ryan Bultrowicz’s play is formally a one-act play in three acts.

  • Ryan Bultrowicz’s The Drowning Star (1M, 4F) is a poignant character study of a former child star who, after the death of her father, determines to make amends to the long list of people she has hurt.
  • Not enough robotics on this list for your liking?  Cyborg With Rosie (2M, 4F) by Troy Banyan will address that.  It features a reclusive cybernetics genius and her dog-man hybrid, as a visit from a journalist exposes many secrets.
  • Young runaway Poppy takes shelter in a student’s flat, only to encounter the ghostly presence of a former tenant, in Towards the Light (1M, 3F), a spooky supernatural drama by Judith Ezekiel.
  • From robots to ghosts to… Leeds Airport.  But as Richard Curtis fans know, airports are in fact the perfect place for love.  Actually, there’s also friendship, grief, disappointment, comedy and deceit to be found, in Liz Dobson’s Arrivals (1M, 5F).
  • If you’re short on actors, Beyond the White Noise (1M, 1F) by Steven A Shapiro is the play for you, focusing on two souls working out their issues as they sit in a therapist’s waiting room.
  • Paul Kalburgi took inspiration from Pinter when writing Almost the Birthday Party (2M), in which an eccentric couple are asked to recall details of an absurd first rehearsal – complete with cheesecake, vicar and taxidermied cat!
  • Pat Edwards’ Asking For Trouble (5M, 3F, 2 Either) explores some topical issues, as two girls narrowly escape serious assault.  As they recount this incident, the play questions whether it’s right to apportion blame to they were dressed.
  • Damian Woods’ Deadline (3M, 1F) features a playwright with a serious grudge to bear against a scathing reviewer.  Luckily, it’s good, so we’ll never have to find out if Damian would react in the same way.
  • Three suspects, all being questioned because of their political beliefs.  Three interrogation rooms.  Three points in time.  Those are just three of the triplets at play in Louise Wade’s Interrogation (here are some more – 3M, 3F).
  • If ‘convoluted black comedy inspired by Edward Albee’ sounds like your idea of a nice way to spend half an hour, you’ll want What’s The Time, Virginia Woolf? (2M, 2F) by Doc Watson.
  • Special Occasions (3M, 5F) by Roger Hodge, adapted from the middle act of his full-length Eating Out, peers into the lives of three very different couples eating at the same restaurant.
  • The revised edition of Paul Bovino’s Elephants (2M, 2F) was published in November.  In an oddly decorated (see title) New York apartment, a strange birthday party reveals hidden love…

 

Full-Length Plays

Again, we are confronted by the question of what is a full-length play.  We take the view that anything with a duration of over an hour could legitimately be staged as an evening’s entertainment.  On the other hand, something with a duration of less than an hour and fifteen minutes might easily be paired with a shorter piece.  Thus Damian Trasler’s 65-minute “Under the Hood” is presented here, but might just as easily fit into the One-act Play category.

  • Aliens in the Park (2M, 3F, 1 Either) by Louise Bramley is a sci-fi comedy in which aliens visit Earth to abduct a male human, in order to improve the gender ratio back home.  There are suggested video effects as backgrounds, if you’re feeling really ambitious.
  • Another comedy from Louise Bramley, Cardigan Coast (2M, 4F) follows the pilot of a reality TV show in which six elderly contestants share a house – and are determined to show the camera they’re up for anything.
  • The title character of Ragnhild (6M, 4F, 1 Either) was the daughter of a usurped Viking king who, despite her exile, schemed her way back into power.  It’s a fascinating historical tale, and Charles Eades tells it with a slice of brutality appropriate to the period.
  • Under the Hood (3M, 1F) by Damian Trasler sees actor Rose rehearsing the title role in a new psychological interpretation of Red Riding Hood, while her husband is torn between his dead-end job and his dreams.

 

Sketches, Skits and Short Plays

Drama, comedy and satire.  In short, all life is here.

  • Gerald Murphy has adapted the O Henry short story After Twenty Years (3M, 0F), in which a wanted criminal meets up with an old friend… not knowing that he’s become a cop.
  • Live (3M, 1F) by Robin Fusco is a post-apocalyptic short play – but don’t worry if that sounds ambitious, as it’s all set in an underground bunker.
  • Olivia Arieti has Tramp Business (3M, 1F) for you to attend to… It’s a heartfelt and lightly comic sketch about the homeless inhabitants of an arrangement of park benches.
  • In The Little Cottage (5M, 4F), Gerald Murphy turns his attentions to Irish folklore.  The Doyle family have a perfect life, until Margaret’s parents move into their cottage.  Father Kelly’s advice only makes things worse.
  • Helen Bradley’s A Day at the Vets (3M, 2F) is exactly what it says in the title… well, a pretty bad day, truthfully, as the vet’s three least favourite customers – and their imaginary pets – all show up.
  • Love Is Blind by Andrew Bawn sees Gary and April meet on a blind date in a restaurant.  There is an age gap between them, and… well, you don’t expect it to go smoothly, do you?
  • Three middle-aged friends meet up for a coffee and a natter in Something To Talk About (3F) by Bob Hammond, but it turns out that they all have more exciting lives than each other thought.
  • The Vikings meet reality TV – and why not?  – in David Dean’s The Alf Factor.  They’re as vicious and bloodthirsty as ever – and that’s just the ones judging the cakes!
  • Who ever said fairy tales are old hat?  Three Billy Goats Cyber by Richard L Sanders is a politically satirical mix of the classic tale with today’s cyber technologies.
  • World War II-era Vienna is the setting for The Attic Room (3M, 3F) by Elizabeth Anne Wells, as a young Jewish girl hides from Nazi soldiers in the house of an Austrian family.

 

Pantomimes

At the time of writing, we have 359 pantomimes on our books.  (By the time of reading, this may well have changed).  We’re always looking for material to diversify the range.  This time Sherlock Holmes is given the panto treatment, not for the first time, whereas The Scarlet Pimpernel is given a first panto outing.  There’s a novel approach to the genre from Helen Spencer and Puss-in-Boots is rendered in rhyme.

  • The game is afoot in Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of the Pantomime (minimum of 5M, 2F, 11 Either) by Giles Black, which pits Conan Doyle’s great detective against Professor Moriarty in his most, well, goofy case yet.
  • The copyright on Baroness Orczy’s works expired in November, and we jumped straight onto that opportunity with Steven J Yeo’s take on The Scarlet Pimpernel (minimum of 3M, 3F, 4 Either).  Who knew France’s Reign of Terror had such potential for slapstick?
  • Another Cat, Another Hat (minimum of 3M, 3F, 4 Either) by Stuart Ardern is a one-act rhyming take on Puss-in-Boots, purrfect for a one-act production using minimal sets.
  • Panto goes meta in Helen Spencer’s Pantomime Academy (minimum of 9M, 16F, 10 Either), which follows poor Maurice, a regular panto actor doomed to always play the back end of the cow.

 

Plays for Schools and Youth Theatre

This category covers scripts written specifically for schools or youth groups.  On this occasion, we’ve made relatively few additions (despite our current catalogue of over 770 pieces for schools and youth productions), although there are probably pieces suitable in some of the other categories…

  • February 14th is fast approaching, and Olivia Arieti’s V For Valentine is perfect for teaching children about Valentine’s Day traditions.  Alternatively, reading it might keep you occupied if you don’t have a date.
  • Howard Does His Best (3M, 10 Either) by Geoff Parker is an offbeat comedy for high school ages.  As Howard tries to ask the most beautiful girl in the school for a dance, various parts of his body argue about how to co-ordinate themselves.
  • Dip into Pond Life, a one-act play (with a couple of optional songs) by Nettie Baskcomb Brown, populated with (a minimum of 9) ungendered roles of plants and pond creatures.

 

Murder Mysteries

The structure of whodunnits varies enormously.  Angela Lanyon’s approach is definitely along the lines of a play: it’s fully-scripted, with no interaction with the audience.  There is, however, the opportunity to put forward suspicions and accusations before the mystery is resolved by the performance of the second act.  (Unusually, as well as deciding who did the deed, this mystery requires the audience to work out who was murdered, although I suspect that this becomes obvious when the remainder of the cast assembles for act two.)

  • A group of friends make a cup of tea and settle in for a nice peaceful séance in Angela Lanyon’s Séance for Murder (3M, 4F).  And then there’s the murder, of course.

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Goals for 2018, or listing future failures.

Posted on January 1, 2018 | Leave a comment

Happy New Year! Assuming you’re working from the same calendar as me… Anyway, I sat in bed this morning and contemplated my view of the future.

dogs

Looks like the future is dogs.

As is traditional at this time of year, I have decided to lie outrageously about the things I absolutely intend to do this coming year, even though they’re things I have completely failed to do in the previous 365 days and no circumstances have changed at all. Well, other than my “Rogue One” Calendar being switched for a “Last Jedi” calendar. Cool.

1. Get fit. I mean, fitter. Well, less fat. Maybe lose weight. Get my blood sugars down. Eat more vegeta…wait, no one will believe that one.

2. Write that novella. No, not that one, the other one. Write it, make a really good cover, and then not sell any, just like the other ten e-books. Yes, ten. As has been previously noted, I spend more on toothpaste in three months than I make from e-books in a year. But this is a really GOOD idea, and I’m going to write it. Sometime.

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3. Write more plays. My plays have continued to sell well, with the last three months of 2017 being the best for TLC creative in several years. I’m chalking that up to my continued advertising efforts on Twitter, where I have over 600 followers. Although I’m not comfortable with the term “followers”. It’s not like I’m leading them anywhere. We’re all just sort of sauntering along in the same direction. So, yeah, write more plays. Format them properly. Get photos of people performing them*.

4. Finish some helmets. Not because I’m short of helmets, but because I’ve had the TIE Pilot helmet project under way for half a year, and I want it done so I can start the next one. These projects earn no money and have no practical use, so I call it a hobby, but it feels like more than that. A calling. An obsession. Or, as Mrs Dim puts it, “A complete waste of time”.

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5. Do things less crap. As part of our family engagement protocol, we’ve all adopted House Names and Words, Game of Thrones Style, to inspire us in the new year. I am now of House Bodger, whose proud words are “Doing things less crap” with our sigil of crossed saw and hammer over bandaged thumb. 1st attempt at producing a plaque for my new house has already gone awry:

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6. Encouraging the Weasels in their education. I think it’s ironic that I need to resolve to drive the Weasels to school after spending a year driving them to school. Apparently I should have been driving them to bike to school, then driving them to school themselves while at home. Parenting is all about learning. We also need to have the courage to let them fail, a courage they already seem to have in bucketloads, because failure is a great teacher, something I have failed to learn so far.

7. Social media wizardry. I’m going to try and blog more often. Or at least, more often than I have been doing, which shouldn’t be hard. For a while I was trying to project an adult, socially responsible Author persona through my social media platforms, in order to encourage readership. However, that meant that people would arrive at my books or plays expecting a socially responsible adult to have written them, and boy were they disappointed. So instead I’m going to blog about the things I want to blog about, I’m going to say them the way it occurs to me to say them, and if you don’t like it, you’re in the majority.

So, having wasted a large portion of the first day of the new year setting down how I’m  not going to be wasting time in the New Year, it’s time for me to have lunch. I hope 2018 is kind to you and your endeavours, and if not, I hope it gallops past on feathered feet and delivers you safely into the loving arms of 2019, when I intend to go to Disneyland.

 

*To put on my website. Not for any sinister, secret police-type purpose.

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Under The Hood

Posted on December 6, 2017 | Leave a comment

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Finding a way through the woods..

This week has been a little busier than most, since Mrs Dim launched off to the UK with Tiny Weasel for a whistle-stop pre-Christmas visit. There was a lot to organise before they left, and, strangely, even more to organise once they’d gone. But despite the pressures of laundry, cooking, shopping and work (all of which, now I come to think of it, I was doing anyway) my latest play* “Under the Hood” was published by Lazy Bee Scripts.

The play is about Rose and her husband Mark. Mark works at a job he hates, because he has a heavy workload that his boss doesn’t understand. Rose is an aspiring actress, and she’s just secured a role in a small production that has a lot of prestige attached – it’s directed by theatre legend Cain, a man so awe-inspiring that he’s known by just the one name. This could be the start of big things, even though the production is a new interpretation of “Little Red Riding Hood”.

As Rose learns more about the part, Mark is finding his limits with his work situation, but the mortgage rides on his salary. Tempting him all the while is the chance to risk it all on a startup with his friend Mike. The payoff could be huge, or it could be disaster, and his company have a yellow dog policy that would prevent him profiting from any idea he had on company time, so he’d have to be underhand…

Things come to a head on Rose’s final night in the play, as the couple finally find their way through the woods and come out on the other side to face the future.

You can read the complete script here.

*It’s not the latest I wrote, just the latest published. I wrote it, but it had some issues, and in between writing it and rewriting it, I wrote another play and it got published first. THAT’s my latest play, chronologically speaking. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to explain.

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Still Boldly Going On….

Posted on November 15, 2017 | Leave a comment

IMproved

A long, long time ago* I wrote a short play that was a spoof on the old Star Trek trope of the guys in the Red Shirts getting killed. It’s not an original idea, but I like to think that my take was fairly fresh at the time. Best of all, it’s a three hander for two males and one female, with minimal set and no expensive special effects…much like the original Star Trek series.

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Like many of my early short plays, the performances have been scattered, and I haven’t managed to see one. But this week (in November of 2017) I got in touch with Send Amateur Dramatic Society (See their website here) and Karen there was kind enough to send through some pictures, which I have placed in the Gallery here on the blog. From the pictures, it looks like the people in Send put more effort into the production than I did into writing the script – I hope their audiences were appreciative of the excellent job they did!

You can read the full text of ‘Strange New Worlds” here, and if you want to see that trope taken a giant step forward, read “Redshirts” by John Scalzi.

 

 

*Yes, I could look it up, but I’m not going to. Sorry. I’m on lunch and time is precious. PRECIOUSSSSSSS!

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The Female Lead

Posted on October 14, 2017 | Leave a comment

cagney

Cagney and Lacey ran from 1982 to 1988. According to Wikipedia, “For six consecutive years, one of the two lead actresses won the Emmy for Best Lead Actress in a Drama (four wins for Daly, two for Gless), a winning streak unmatched in any major category by a show.”

Having seen the outrage and fiery passion ignited by the Wonder Woman movie, I found it amazing to consider the success of Cagney and Lacey, which was, obviously, back in the “bad old days”. It’s surely no coincidence that the success of the show didn’t spawn dozens of similar shows with two female leads. In fact, the closest I can think of is the TV show “Scott and Bailey”, which did not begin until 2011, 23 years after Cagney and Lacey ended. When you see the proliferation of similar shows that burst onto the screen when the originals are proven successes – Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, The Wire – it’s surely only entrenched patriarchy that prevented a flood of female-lead cop shows.

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What others can we point to? There’s the excellent “Prime Suspect” that places Helen Mirren in command, fighting the prejudice of her fellow officers as much as she tries to unravel the crimes. Again, it won awards, garnered mountains of praise, ran for seven seasons and produced…What? There seem to be few imitators or successors.

When I started out to write a police procedural for the stage, I wanted to have a female lead. Originally she was going to be channeling advice from a fictional P.I. , but I soon realised that I wanted her to be working on her own, solving things herself. The second lead character shouldered her way into the spotlight a little unexpectedly. After she appeared, I went back and re-wrote the beginning, so that she – Maylee – could be a balance for Alice, the detective.

With all that has come to light in the past two weeks – Harvey Weinstein and the morass of sexual predation in Hollywood and elsewhere – it feels less appropriate than ever for me to be writing a play about the struggles of two women. White, middle class, middle-aged men have had more than their fair share of the spotlight these last few hundred years. I have no doubt there are women out there who could write a more personal, more real account of Maylee and Alice than I ever could. Odds are, there’s a better story than mine already published.

But here’s the thing: I’m a writer. I have an idea, and I have to write it. It might take months, or years, or it might be done in a day, but they turn up and get written down. I can choose which ones get my time and attention, but I can’t choose which ideas occur to me. If I could, I would write the things that follow the current market, whatever they are.

Writing is a profession that is full of people with Imposter Syndrome. Writers mistrust their own opinion of their work, they doubt themselves and they second-guess reactions to what they write. I already spend enough time doubting that what I produce is worthwhile, or readable. Since I don’t intend any disrespect or denigration to women, I don’t fear criticism for what I’m writing. As I said above, there are people who could write these things better than I could, so I would welcome any constructive criticisms. I’ll continue to write what it occurs to me to write, and I’ll listen to any objections that anyone has to offer.

You can read the full text of “Alice and the Cold Case” here. Many of my other plays contain strong female characters. You could try reading “The Kitchen Skirmishes“, or “The Red Balloon“, or “Digging up Edwin Plant“. There’s also “A Time for Farewells“, and “Love in a Time of Zombies“.

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The September 2017 Lazy Bee Newsletter

Posted on September 5, 2017 | Leave a comment

Here we are, back at the start of another school year.  (At least it is in the northern hemisphere; I have lost track of the way these things are managed in the antipodes.)  For anyone planning their theatrical season, this is a reminder that we have a variety of seasonal plays including entertainments for Halloween, both religious and secular Christmas shows and a huge variety of other material for schools and youth theatres.  Of course, it’s also the run-up to the panto season, and again we have vast numbers available.  If you’re looking for something specific, try our pantomime pages or the search engine.  If you’re in a hurry and need a short-cut to our best sellers, then follow the “what’s hot” link from the Lazy Bee Scripts home page.
 

Sketches, Skits and Short Plays

Comedy sketches and short plays.  (The plays may also be comedies or may evoke a broader spread of emotions.)  Each runs to less than 20 minutes, by our estimate.  However, it’s worth noting that our reckoning is wrong!  It’s based on word count, so it judges all plays in the same way.  This is fair, but in practice the timing will vary enormously.  Someone made good use of our script feedback (via our Contacts page) to tell us that their production of Two Surgeons (by Damian Trasler and Steve Clark of TLC Creative) ran at 4 minutes, not the 10 minutes that we suggest.  In that case, it’s very close to stand-up comedy – high rate of patter and little action – so we will tend to overestimate, whereas for plays with movement and dramatic pauses, we may underestimate.

  • Gill Medway gives us a trio of short plays, available to buy as a collection or individually:
    Two Left Feet (1M, 2F) follows 40-something Joy, who has turned up at her sister Carole’s place following a divorce.  While Joy sags about on the sofa looking joyless, Carole enjoys a fulfilling life in the ballroom with new boyfriend Steve – but is he really the romantic he’s cracked up to be?
    There’s plenty of life left in Sid, although he’s approaching his eightieth birthday, though life becomes difficult in Baggy Trousers (1M, 1F) when patronising new carer Melanie arrives.
    A once-popular children’s author takes solace in a letter from her last surviving fan in Out Of Print (1M, 1F) .
  • Jonathan Edgington’s I.  Guy (1M, 2F) explores futuristic friendship.  Veronica and Courtney spice up their ailing relationship by bringing Carlos into the fold.  This is much to Courtney’s chagrin – until she discovers that Carlos is a robot.
  • The Love Potion (1M, 1F) is sold to Jennifer by a mysterious shopkeeper.  She hopes to use it to save her tangled love life, though the elixir yields unexpected results in Robert M.  Barr’s short play.
  • Two clerks sort through an eclectic array of new books in Damian Trasler’s short sketch In The Library (2 Either)
  • A salesman tries to buy a second hand car and ends up considering taking a second look at his chosen career.  A Second Hand (1M) by Lucy Cooper was originally published in 2009, but has been re-jigged to keep up with these enlightened times.
  • “Abandon Ship” (2M, 1 Either) cry the passengers on Fred and Ernie’s ferry – but their prevarication and bickering leaves the duo vulnerable as their vessel sinks.  A sketch by Robert Black.
  • Dana Davies’ Date Night (2M, 1F) can’t be explored in too much detail without upsetting the school email filters – needless to say, raunchy misunderstandings and ill-prepared schemes abound.

 

Musicals and Musical Plays

Two new musical pieces, both aimed at schools (probably the upper years of primary school and the lower years of secondary school, respectively).

  • What The Dickens! (8M, 3F) is something you might exclaim upon viewing Andrew Yates’ latest work for children – a madcap musical medley through Oliver Twist, Bleak House, A Christmas Carol and more.  This includes some feisty encounters, as Charles Dickens comes face to face with some of his less desirable creations.
  • Nicholas Richards writes a wide variety of material for the stage; mainly, though not exclusively, for schools.  Some time ago, we published his play A Tale of a Nail, much of which occurs inside the human body – an anthropomorphisation of the immune system’s response to attack.  He followed this up with a musical version (probably aimed at the junior years of secondary school), which we’ve just published as A Tail Of A Nail – A Musical Play.  In this case, it’s a play with four songs (and some incidental music); another of Nicholas’s musical offerings (this one in conjunction with Timothy Hallett) is a stage version of The Lambton Worm which is a single continuous piece of music running throughout the show.  Effectively, it’s acted to a sung narration.  We published that some years ago and we’ve just added a demo recording of the whole piece and an updated backing recording.

 

One-Act Plays

Theatre writing covers a wide range of subjects and purposes.  Sometimes it’s purely for fun, sometimes it’s a cathartic experience (in which, for example, the writer gets to choose which relative gets murdered on stage).  It can also tackle some of the big issues of our age. Outside politics, two of the issues that exercise me the most are the prevelence of dementia and the rise of artificial intelligence. Consequently, I’ve written a one-act play that combines the two subjects.  (My feelings about this echo Vaughan-Williams remark about his fourth symphony: “I don’t know whether I like it, but it’s what I meant”.)

  • Stephen Mercer gives us the alliteratively titled Llandudno, Lust and Lollipops (1M, 1F) – unless you’re using the proper Welsh pronunciation, that is.  Charlie and Annie’s marriage has become humdrum, such that Annie finds herself experiencing fantasies of a more exciting life.  The pair unwind forty years of strained politeness to discover that they both have more in common than they thought.
  • The Night Nurse (2M) greets Greg after he wakes up in a hospital bed following a car crash.  When he encounters the eerily familiar day nurse, Raymond, Greg soon realises that things are a little odd.  A tense one act drama from Louise Wade.
  • Take The Turing Test (3F, 1 Either) if you’re after a festival-length drama, the latest from Stuart Ardern.  Alison Grove, an Artificial intelligence researcher, is struggling to cope with her mother’s Alzheimer’s disease when she should be focused on the question of whether machines are capable of rational thought.
  • Jenny knows that John’s Mother (3F), Diane, isn’t her biggest fan.  When the put-downs and asides get too much, she confides to her best friend that she’d love her out of the way.  When Diane unexpectedly dies, the real trouble starts in Helen Boyce’s new drama.
  • The Importance Of Being Belinda (6F) follows the feminist Sapphire Theatre Collective in their final rehearsal for ‘The Importance Of Being Earnest’ – though Wilde’s original has been revised and updated to cater for a female cast and political correctness.  A witty one-acter from John Garforth.
  • Pensioner Veronica has settled very nicely into her cottage and has developed a substantial (and profitable) following amongst the men in the village.  News of her exploits has reached her daughters who are, at first, determined to put a stop to it.  Sibling rivalries boil to the surface and themes of family, love, relationships and cake are explored in Paul Foster’s Prerogative (2M, 3F)
  • Paul John Matthews’ Café Fear (3M, 3F) is a drama with elements of tragicomedy.  Two newspaper reporters, Angela and Jim, are following up reports of an escaped patient from a local secure mental hospital.  Stopping off at a café, they are soon joined by a cast of bizarre characters, and mutual suspicions grow when their backstories become increasingly unlikely.
  • A Change Of Heart (4M, 7F) comprises a tale of deception and murder in 19th Century Manchester, the latest enrapturing historical drama from Tony Frier.  When Mrs Chiltern unexpectedly returns home one evening to find her husband dead, little does she imagine that she will be the one facing the gallows.
  • A group of friends make a contingency plan in the event that any of them become seriously ill.  Ten years on, that pact is put to the test in Duncan Battman’s Spoofing For Gordon (3M, 1F)
  • School staffroom strife in Damian Woods’ The Primary Candidate (3M, 4F).  Headmaster Gordon Lewis has called an extraordinary staff meeting, but has excluded one department in doing so.  He announces a forthcoming VIP visit along with the vacancy for Assistant Head, causing much lively discussion and rivalry.
  • Get your Christmas play shopping done early with I Don’t Think I’ll Be Here Next Christmas (1M, 3F) by Dawn Cairns.  Cantankerous pensioner Jean always spends Christmas with her son John and his wife Sheila.  The mutual dislike between Sheila and Jean bubbles under the surface, and threatens to boil over after an incident involving sixpences in the Christmas pudding.
  • The two acts of David Pemberton’s Doppelganger are now available individually as one-act plays.  Deception and Disguise (7M, 4F) were inspired by the plays that in turn inspired Shakespeare’s A Comedy Of Errors and Twelfth Night respectively.

 

Full-Length Plays

I’m amazed by authors’ capacity for invention.  The new full-length plays include a tale about an autocratic publisher.  I couldn’t possibly imagine anyone like that…

  • Jane Eyre (5M, 9F) has been adapted from the Charlotte Bronte novel by Richard Hills.  The story of Jane, who takes the position of governess of Mr Rochester’s young French ward in 1846, is faithfully transformed into a stage piece.
  • More early-bird festivity can be found in Jamie Lakritz’s The Great Christmas Cracker Heist (5M, 6F, 1 Either).  Everyone at the cracker factory is looking forward to their seasonal bonus – But things aren’t going as well as they seem at the company, so the staff take steps to get the money they’re banking on.
  • Mike Warrick’s spooky comedy A Wake All Night (5M, 5F) takes place in the mansion of late billionaire Sir Roger Laughton.  Following the eclectic businessman’s funeral, several select guests are invited to try and spend the night at his haunted abode.  But why these guests in particular?
  • Similarly ghostly is Nothing Old, Nothing New, Anne Graham’s single-setting farce.  Valerie is dead but unable to leave her house, now occupied by her son and his wife Zoe – the cause of her fury and her enforced sit-in.  Her grandson arrives to find his mother making plans for his sister’s wedding – though scandalous revelations soon scupper everyone’s plans.
  • A detective on administrative leave and a reporter with everything to prove have to team up to solve a forgotten crime in Alice And The Cold Case (5M, 5F) by Damian Trasler
  • White Rock (4M, 4F) is the publishing firm in Martin Ward’s thriller, where autocratic owner Sir James Bannerman has just been found murdered.  Inspector Hilliard has his work cut out to find the culprit, given that everyone at the office had a compelling reason to commit the crime.  We can confirm that no such dramatics occur in real-life publishing houses.

 

Pantomimes

Sheer Luck Holmes was produced by the Apollo Players (on the Isle of Wight).  A picture of their dancing policemen appears on our web page for the script.

  • Bob Heather and Cheryl Barrett have remastered Sheer Luck Holmes (1M, 5F, 13 Either).  All of the familiar panto ingredients and faces bound together to solve the mysterious case of the missing art works.  Holmes is assisted by his housekeeper Dottie the Dame and Baskerville the pantomime dog.
  • A new take on Cinderella (4M, 4F, 10 Either) takes the audience from the Job Centre to the Palace via Hardup Hall by a rejuvenated Fairy Godmother and a talking parrot.  The Ugly Sisters are addicted to Facebook, while Prince Charming runs his life according to his fitbit.
  • Best-selling author Robert Scott takes on the world of panto with Adrian – The Alternative Pantomime (5M, 5F, 1 Either), available in both clean and not-so-family-friendly versions.  Adrian’s not your typical inhabitant of Pantoland.  He’s level-headed, and can spot the difference between a wolf and a Granny.  But due to unfortunate circumstances, he’s tasked with the role of Fairy Godmother – for everyone!

 

Plays for Schools and Youth Theatre

There seems to be a theme running through our new youth plays, but, for the most part, it’s Greek to me:-

  • Stewart Boston goes all Greek with Antigone (4M, 2F, 2Either), a dramatic retelling of Sophocles’ tragedy – perfect for secondary/high schools and youth theatre.
  • Continuing the ancient theme, Graham Milton offers us two short plays, ideal for school assembly pieces: The adeptly-named Troy Story (6M, 2F) is a comic take on the story of the Trojan War, featuring a rapping and bloodthirsty chorus to keep the audience up to speed.  Oedipus – Swollen Foot (8M, 3F) similarly provides a remarkably light-hearted and accessible take on a Greek tragedy.
  • Lou Treleaven’s Absolutely Aesop (3M, 1F, 14 Either) may prove ideal for those looking to stage a family-friendly one-acter.  As part of the series of Absolutely Ancients, the eponymous author is brought onto a chat show to discuss his most famous fables, and meet some of the characters again.
  • Feline fanatics may take to Louise Wade’s It’s A Cat’s Life (1M, 3F, 3 Either).  A group of cats are introducing the latest kitten to life on the lane, when a stray offers a differing view of humans and their houses.  Before any conclusions can be drawn, the kitten gets into danger and needs rescue.
  • Chariot (4M, 6F) by Chad Bearden was written for two young principals (and could be played by a youth company or a mix of youth and older actors).  Lenny and Margo are left orphaned when their mother dies, but their Uncle Joe sneaks them away from government care and takes them on a wild and imagination-filled road trip.

 

Murder Mysteries

Just one new murder mystery this time, but featuring the reprise of the detective from the best-selling Death on Delivery:-

  • Detective Inspector Ben Cleveleys bobs in and out of the action in Richard Adams’ An Inspector Pops In (4M, 4F).  Ageing actor Gary’s estranged wife is plotting with his entourage to systematically drain his bank balance.  When Lisa, a young reporter from the local newspaper arrives for an interview with Gary, she becomes privy to conversations which threaten to uncover the whole plot.

 

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The Latest Scripts from Lazy Bee : Sept 2016

Posted on September 8, 2016 | Leave a comment

Image result for Lazy Bee Logo

The latest round of scripts published by Lazy Bee Scripts have been gathered together in their regular newsletter (The Buzz). I’ve taken that list and some of  the other notices and put them here for your edification. All the scripts can be found by searching the title or author at www.lazybeescripts.co.uk  and it’s always worth checking out “What’s New” on the website.

Plays for Schools and Youth Theatre

Our latest publication for children (covering a range of ages) are:-

  • Peter Yates dispels a few Nordic myths while providing some real historical insight in his school piece The Vikings (9M, 3F)
  • The Seven Wonders (17M, 4F) by Nicholas Richards is an accessible and educational school play, that teaches not only history but also the power of books, and their ability to educate and inspire.
  • Roger Hurn’s new plays are ideal for school assemblies.  Thor’s Hammer (7M, 1F) is based on a traditional Scandinavian folk story, and Joseph And The Truth Stick (2M, 0F) provides a cautionary tale from ancient Egypt.
  • Face2Face (15M, 9F), Helen Spencer’s school ensemble piece is designed for Key Stage 2 pupils, with the theme of bullying at its core, though has many humorous TV-themed interludes.  Sam is a delightful child – happy, smiley and kind to others.  Well, at least that’s the impression she gives to grown-ups.  When her parents aren’t looking, or the teachers’ backs are turned, Sam reveals her true personality.
  • Gerry Murphy’s single setting piece The Three Wishes (7M, 3F) tells the cautionary tale of an impoverished peasant who makes a Faustian pact with Lucifer.
  • Young people come of age in the high school drama Behind Their Eyes (8M, 7F).  The play is a poignant dramatisation of the real life stories and experiences witnessed by the author Taylor Seymour.

 

Musicals and Musical Plays

Shows with a significant musical element – original songs or song suggestions.

  • Sarah Archer’s comedy drama Dearly Beloved (1M, 3F) features an original song and the opportunity for two others, and sees three very different people trapped in a mysterious room.  The trio must work together to find the answers that will set them free.
  • More amateur dramatics chaos in Cheryl Barrett’s comedy Free For Hall, as a double booking in the village hall leads to a tense stand-off.  There is potential for two song and dance routines.
  • Trinity Road School Reunion by Dawn Cairns is a full length musical with suggested songs.  A class comes back together years after school has finished, for a 70s night at a local pub.  New romances awaken, and old ones are remembered.  Some have changed quite dramatically, but the old bully is still the same.
  • And while we’re here, I should mention Ruth, Graham W Evans’s musical telling of the bible story.  We published this some time ago, but we have, at long last, added Graham’s CD of backing tracks for the show.
    We’ve also belatedly added vocal demos for a couple of children’s shows: A Musical Mother Goose by Gerald P.  Murphy and Minny Pinny Makes a Difference by Stuart Ardern.

 

Full-Length Plays

We are sponsoring the writing competition for full-length plays run by Bread & Roses Theatre.  (Submissions close on September 30.)  They are seeking plays with a majority of female roles (which is a good thing, reflecting the make-up of many theatre companies).  More information on their web site.  We look forward to reading the winning entries, meanwhile, our latest publications are:-

  • Ethan Bortman’s Obvious Guilt (4M, 3F) has been remastered with a British setting.  Nigel’s wife has gone missing and her mother is determined to involve the police.  As time goes by, things look blacker for Nigel, but he protests his innocence to the last.
  • A vivid historical drama on the life and loves of Byron, Mad, Bad, And Dangerous To Know (2M, 4F) is told largely from the female perspective, written by Jim and Bronwyn Jameson.
  • Play Safe (6M, 5F) from Paul Rudelhoff & Jane Hilliard is a full length farce set in a home for retired entertainers.  Trouble brews as two rookie criminals break in, with the intention of stealing the combination to a safe.
  • Lee Stewart’s Legacy (3M, 2F) centres around a dysfunctional family attending the reading of Uncle John’s will.  The provisos within lead the characters to in-fighting and nefarious scheming in a bid to get their hands on the inheritance.
  • Greeting Cards (2M, 2F), Frank Flynn’s comedy drama centres around two roommates.  Robbie is out of work, having suffered a stroke, while Max struggles to care for him.  Two women, Mandy and Max’s sister Gertie provide the catalyst for life saving changes for the pair.  There are three possible endings to choose from in Robert Scott’s The Amateur Killer (3M, 4F), a murder mystery drama centring around a local amateur dramatics society.  Director Daniel is letting his personal history with Lucas affect their relationship as he directs the production of Adieu, but it’s his knowledge of Lucas’ affair with Natalie that will lead to murder.
  • Two spirits ponder the manner of their death in Herb Hasler’s A Haunted Haunting (8M, 7F).  Confusions arise in this full length comedy, as medium Mona summons a host of oddball spirits to find the answer.
  • To Shut The Mouth Of Lions (4M, 2F) is a powerful drama from Dave Clark.  William’s wilful refusal to acknowledge his son’s lifestyle choice leads to a Christmas confrontation with his family.
  • Take five ladies of varying backgrounds and put them in the rest room at an exercise class.  They talk about their lives, their hopes and fears openly and unashamedly. Add into the mix a young, single, male fitness instructor and see what happens in Geoff Fulford’s Exercise In Discretion (2M, 5F)

 

Sketches, Skits and Short Plays

Mainly sketches, this time, but also a couple of short plays.  All running to less than 20 minutes.

  • Two Yorkshiremen share anniversary gift ideas and other worldly wisdom in Cheryl Barrett‘s Silver-Tongued
  • The mercurial minds at TLC Creative have gifted us with a menagerie of new skits, the settings of which range from boardrooms to safari parks.  These offerings come from David Lovesy with occasional help from Brian Two, and one contribution from Damian Trasler: The Business Meeting (2M 1F), Soul Bargain (2M), Imagine You Are A Tree (2 Either), The Wonders Of Science (2M), Is This A Sketch? (2 Either), The Earthquake Drill (1F, 2 Either), Shyfari (2M, 1 Either), and A Day At A Spa Resort (2M)
  • I Will Pass My Jeans On from Patricia G is a short but sweet piece.  Two sisters sort through some old clothes for the charity shop while their mother watches on.
  • Three new contributions from Robert Scott give equally humorous, sharp and absurd takes on the worlds of art critique, classical music and Hollywood film: Joan: The Movie (2 Either), For The Love Of Art (3M), and Symphony Dreadful (1M, 2 Either)
  • Philistines and experts face off in Herb Hasler’s Art’s Gallery.  (2M 1F)
  • Olivia Arieti adapts a Mary E.  Wilkins story in The Mayor’s Christmas Masquerade (5M, 7F)
  • The customer is always right, although in Peter Keel’s Book City they can sometimes struggle with the finer points.  (1M, 2 Either)
  • Tony Domaille’s spoof detective noir Rick Risk P.I. sees the title character embark on an amusingly cliché ridden roller coaster, meeting the glamorous Somer Field on the way.  (1M, 1F)
  • A case of mistaken identity leads to A Blind Date in Rollin Jewett’s short comedy play.  (2M, 1F)
  • Just A Bus Driver, Susan Middaugh’s ten minute drama, sees the title character confronted with a gun wielding passenger.  (2M)

 

Pantomimes

Here we have some traditional panto themes, along with a smattering of unusual subjects, mainly for family audiences (but one show that definitely isn’t).

  • Sharon Hulm’s collection of panto-themed sketches Behind You! features an interview with a genie, the characters of Robin Hood trying their hand at speed dating, and a piratey job interview.  More fairytale worlds collide in Goldie Locks And Some Other Guys, Sharon’s latest full length offering, where Goldie, jewel thief extraordinaire, is pursued by three hungry bears.
  • Cinderessex by Barry Smith is most definitely not suitable for family viewing.  Fairy Nuff’s magic allows Cinderessex to attend an exclusive party at The Glass Slipper club, owned by millionaire England footballer Jack Charming.  Only until midnight, that is.
  • Richard Coleman gives us a rhyming masterclass in Chaos In Wonderland, where Alice teams up with Jack to overthrow the Queen of Hearts.
  • Andrew O’Leary’s Rapunzel is our fourth published adaptation.  When the wicked fairy Gothel is stripped of her powers, they are accidentally transferred to the hair of baby princess Rapunzel.  Years later a brave boy sets out to find her and bring her home
  • Cleopatra Kicks Some Asp is a fun packed Ancient Egyptian-themed offering from Jonathan Goodson.  The evil Avaricia and her ugly sisters try to cheat young Cleo out of the Mighty Jewel of the Pharaohs.
  • Our second Ali Baba panto (others have Ali Baba and something else in the title, usually thieves) is set in a Cairo bakery – Will Fatima Baba’s flatcakes ever get the seal of approval from Pharaoh Rosher?  (Authors Bob Heather and Cheryl Barrett will donate a percentage of their royalties to charity.)
  • Suzan Holder gives us a a revised re-telling of Cinderella, our Version 6.  An updated rags-to-riches – via a pumpkin – story.
  • Aladdin has been given the girl’s school treatment by Rachel Harries.  This panto is designed for an all female cast, though can easily be adapted to suit a mixed bag.  Evil villainesses and magic lamps abound in our tenth Aladdin adaptation.
  • Dame Patsy’s pasty factory is under threat in The Parrots Of Penzance, Peter Yates’ eclectic offering.  The race to capture two valuable giant Peruvian parrots descends into pantomime fun.
  • Bottoms Up!  – The Panto by Hilary Ayshford sees pantomime meet Shakespeare, as A Midsummer Night’s Dream is retold with a healthy mix of modern day humour and eloquent quips.

 

One-Act Plays

We estimate run times from the number of words.  (There’s a post about this on the Beewaxing blog entitled ‘How Long is a Piece of Theatre?’) By our calculations, all these plays have run times of between 20 minutes and an hour.  The upper boundary may be of concern to groups planning competition entries (because usually there’s an upper limit of 50 or 55 minutes).  This concerned Tony Frier in particular, as his play would make a good festival piece but is possibly on the long side (though your production may well run at a faster pace).  In any case, Tony’s production notes say that he is amenable to cuts to meet festival limits.

  • Scott Kingsnorth gives us the remarkable Palindrome (1M, 4F), a dystopian drama with a unique narrative.  Ladies (2F), on the other hand gives us a more identifiable tale of post-wedding-party blues.
  • The true story of Donnie Merrett is superbly adapted to the stage in Tony Frier’s powerful drama As The Clock Struck Ten (6M, 4F).  At the age of 17, Merrett shoots his mother after she discovers he had been forging cheques in her name.  Joining the navy reserve upon release from prison, he soon returns to a life of crime and debauchery.  After fleeing the military and narrowly escaping court martial he heads back to London where he continues to demand money to fund his habits.
  • Our Little Secret (2M, 1F) is Rollin Jewett’s award winning comic drama.  Darlene’s evening in is interrupted by an armed intruder, and an unlikely relationship develops between the pair.
  • Geoff Rose-Michael’s latest thrillers are three different tales of drama and deceit – the dire consequences of cheating a driving exam in The Test (1M, 1F), a sinister cover-up in When You’re Dead (3M 2F), and an armed robbery that isn’t as it seems in Innocent Witness (2M, 2F).
  • Window Pain (3M, 4F) is a bitter-sweet comedy from Patricia G.  Brenda thinks she knows all her neighbour’s secrets from the comfort of her window.  The residents of her neighbourhood, however, have their own stories to tell, and they are stark contrasts to Brenda’s preconceived ideas.
  • An American and an English couple squabble in Rosemary Frisino Toohey’s drama Fish Have Feelings Too (3M, 3F).  Eventually the couples’ children diffuse the situation give them something else to think about
  • Matters Arising (4M, 1F) by Richard Moore features a routine will-reading gone awry, unveiling the web of deceit in the secret lives of the beneficiaries.
  • An obsession with ancestry and a desire to claim the inheritance of an obscure relative are the driving points of American Dreaming (5M, 5F), David Pemberton’s comedy drama.

 

Murder Mysteries

There are three new interactive murder mysteries in the latest crop.  Time for your audience to get out their magnifying glasses and work out whodunnit…

  • Downtown Crabbey is a period mystery by Joanne Mercer, set in 1900 in a London hotel trying to cater for American tourists.  The impending arrival of a hotel inspector has caused a panic in the dining room and, worst of all, a fork has gone missing.
  • Nostalgia for a different period from Debi Irene Wahl in The Monster Mashed – a mystery for a small cast of comedy horror characters, with a couple of songs thrown in for good measure.
  • Richard Adams presents a detective-led mystery in Mystic Myrtle which starts with a visit to a fortune teller and leads into an intricate tale where all of the characters have motives for doing one another in.  So the first mystery is who goes first.

 

 

New Web Site Features

Pick a number (not quite any number)

If you buy a performance set of scripts from us, we used to define that as one Producer’s Copy and a fixed number of Cast Copies. Now we’ve changed that so that the customer can choose the number of Cast Copies.  Normally, at this point, you’d be given a sales pitch about why more Cast Copies would be useful to you.  Of course I’m going to do that, but I’ll also tell you why you might want fewer (the cheaper option).
With some scripts, particularly large cast productions, it’s possible to have one actor playing multiple roles.  If you know you’re going to do that, then you can pick the number of Cast Copies you need.  (There is a lower limit, which is the feasible minimum cast size.)
On the other hand, you might want additional copies for members of a chorus, for prompt and stage crew and to give to competition judges. In that case you can add as many Cast Copies as you need.
(The same function also makes it possible to order multiple Review copies.)

Buy a collection, perform a script

We have a small number of “collections” – sets of scripts, generally sketches or short pieces, grouped by theme and bundled together (at a discount over the sum of the individual parts).  Occasionally, customers want to buy the collection but perform just some of the component scripts.  Our web site will now recognise this automatically and grant performance rights for individual scripts that were bought as part of a collection.

Get an up-to-date catalogue

We’ve moved the Catalogue (or Catalog, if you prefer the US spelling) into the [Browse] menu.  We’ve also updated so that the catalogue is generated when you click the button, so you instantly get a PDF which includes the latest publications.

Build your own catalogue

The point of the catalogue is to be printable (so that you can hand a copy round).  The problem with a catalogue is that it contains a lot of things that you don’t want mixed in with the things you might want.  The Lazy Bee Scripts search engine gives results that are closer to what you are looking for, but it’s more difficult to print.  Aha!  There’s now a button which enables you to create a PDF of your search results.

PDF Receipts

We have, for a while now, had a feature whereby you can generate a receipt for a paid order via the [Customers] menu.
We’ve extended that so that the receipts (and invoices, for orders for which you have yet to pay) are generated as PDFs – which look better and are easier to print.
This is particularly useful for customers who pay by card but want a receipt in their own currency (as long as it’s Euro or US, Canadian, Australian or New Zealand dollars).  The customer’s currency part of the receipt will be approximate – because we charge in pounds and the customer’s card provider does the conversion into local currency, so we never see the exchange rate – but for most purposes it will be close enough.

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